PART 2
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2001 and thereafter, our existence in the new place was no accidental miracle, it was everyone's hard work put together towards a common cause and the cause was nothing- but 'our survival'. While the family's elders did all exceptional efforts to have 99% things set, I could always try my side to complete.
Had been into our business when I entered the new premise, what everyone calls to be the golden period of life. To this belief, I certainly had my own reservations, the circumstances in my history evidently were always there to add the negative synergies. When you see your things not leading a right result in the past, you would expect the future to follow the trend. My life would not have gone the heart way, as my mind was positioned amongst the troubles uniquely. Added to my jittery was an uncomfortable, horrid and deeply terrible beginning to the college and hostel life.
Most of us have problems with people, place or premise, my agony with the college was due to my own disbelief in the culture. It was(even today it is), unfortunate that I never liked the people here , somehow my upbringing was much different than what I noticed here. Nevertheless, it had to begin and did. Against my belief- the five years turned to be good, if not excellent, and against the common belief, things ended while taking another trouble on my side.
Starting from the first year, till the end of third, it was a normal sequence with things taking their usual time to settle. Each college element , be it the ragging, making of new friends , speaking to the teachers, taking note of assignments,sessionals, everything flowed in the right stream. Had always been finicky that whatever I do , I never wanted somebody else repeating it, never wanted to be a herd amongst the rest and therefore I started my style of work, creating a niche of things that people do not imitate. No wonder, I succeeded in being a different package, for the friends, for the teachers, and atleast for me. It was funny on my part to prove things to me, than making a statement to others. It worked and my idea of keeping a good distance worked comfortably for two long years. Yes, not to forget, I always had somebody ahead of me in the final results. Despite making headway in sessionals, internal exams , vivas, I always had to pay the price of poor handwriting for the finale:)
Down the line in few months of the college, I had become a good friend to all, but as it is said, 'a friend to all sometimes is a friend to none'. With a little surprise to my mind, i did make some good friends who are still along and for one reason or other I continue giving them issues to complain about. Perhaps, my idea of being special to them has saved me from any disastrous fight that could have happened any day considering the things I do. I know they have been with me always, but staying within my horizon of limits kept me away, not from the hearts, but the tangible distance I could always find reasons to miss trips, visits, parties(now marriages).
While enjoying the fame and after-effects of being a smart(not goodlooking), intellgent simpleton(not an idiot) in a batch of 50, an another side of mine was being incorporated, it was not a public side, but a side that my invisible friend knew(Mistake#1 which continued for two something years). In the fight of numbers amongst the crowd , no one (except my invisible friend) could read me, that there was something that used to distress me through out the day. Everyone around including the teachers continued to raise the bar of praise for my smiles and decency, but my invisible friend always had the courage to interrogate about the pain that my smile used to cover.
The world would always question me in one form or the other, but the invisible friend would text me in the evening everyday to know my 'sometimes strange mind'. It never used to end here, it used to continue till the time i was assured about being right. Sometimes you don't like to be wrong, not because you are right all the time, but somewhere somebody (here , it was she), has addicted you of being told that you are right...
I was an arrogant idiot who led his life the public way( i knew i was overconfident, but this was a new discovery). I continued talking to her( Texting, didnt even heard her voice over phone for more than 60 Seconds), but to the world over,precisely my college, i kept her my invisible friend. No wonder, she had the issues, but trust me, she never tried to blow it out of proportion, She continued extending her support, kindness and in return all she expected was a smile. May be her idea of life was to be happy by making others happy, especially her fantastic five( some friends she treasured more than the world). My family always made me learn that the social image has got nothing to do with personal life, still owing to my chaotic beliefs, I wanted this friendship to stay isolated from the society. The irony was- I messaged her daily(a lot many times she recharged my phone), landed up speaking all silly things but I didn't ever make an eye contact to her. Picking her phone, responding to her call, speaking to her became almost like a distant dream. Started uttering almost every thing, yet she was just a classmate(that's what I continued to say).
During the period, which i call, my era of transition from being a human being, to actually being human, she
maintained her support, she continued to co-exist. I never knew that the invisible friend, despite being unseen to people, actually became the fourth person i could easily bank on. Not that we never fought, no surprise that for some days, i used to make her life miserable, but things became special. All i could say at the end of third year was, the unseen force started bringing best out of me. Amongst the thousand appreciations i collected, her acknowledgement made the difference...
Whatever that happened in the earlier decade was an uncontrollable change which made me different, i hardly knew anything till i grew. But from there, all the decisions i took, everything i did, it started making an impact on my life, may be the jinx of today took its routes from my graduating years.
(Have too much to say, lets take a break for the next half)
Read Part 3 next
Love,Ankitt
Sent from BlackBerry® on the go
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